I first posted this 2 weeks back and was removed by the admins last time. Reposting since they have relaxed the sub rules.
I just wanted to have a fun game of cricket to take my mind of the current events going on around the world. Yes Coronavirus, I am talking about you. But I can't catch a break. First of all, I was relieved to find that that the bowler who was showing visible symptoms of cold yesterday was not playing today. Hope he gets the treatment he requires. In spite of people cancelling on us, we still put together a team to play 8 a side cricket.
Before the match, I talked to the opposing team about the Mankad incident yesterday where I took early starts to keep my distance from their sick bowler and they understood that I was not trying to take an unfair start nor did I stray outside the crease absentmindedly like the Pennyworth guy in IPL, I forget his name. I accepted that I was rightly out but my intentions were noble and for my health. The opposing team captain agreed that a sick guy should not be playing cricket anyway, especially in the current scenario.
We also agreed NOT to celebrate with each other within makeout range whenever our team gets a wicket and that we need to keep our distances. No high fives or fist bumps. We informed the Rahane of our team that handshake celebrations also are out of the equation now. We are going to celebrate wickets by clapping our own hands together or with the Namaste greeting and avoid all unnecessary contact with our teammates. Our team's Rabada was also instructed to not get in the face of the batsman while celebrating a dismissal.
We start the match and we are sent in to bowl first. I am standing at first slip which is my regular position. The Wicketkeeper, who is also our captain is standing at 2 arms length to me. We take 3 early wickets , I take a sharp catch and things are looking up for us when suddenly our Wicketkeeper captain lets out a thunderous fart. We start chuckling and he apologizes and says that his stomach is acting up. Contrary to popular belief this fart was accompanied by an unholy smell which lingered for 10 seconds. I was standing right next to him and I got the worst of it. My mind soon goes back to what I read about Coronavirus getting transmitted via farts. Farts can have droplet particles which has a highly unlikely but small chance of transmitting the virus. Wearing pants should prevent droplets from escaping but this bastard was wearing shorts and the fart was too powerful to not have droplets escaping the pants. I am shitting bricks now and all I am thinking of is whether I am going to catch the virus from a fart. Such a stupid way to catch the virus. I lose my concentration, drop a dolly of a catch, miss a runout. Also I get bowled for 2 runs, missing a straight ball when its my tun to bat. I can't catch a break. But apparently I can certainly catch a fart. FML
To everyone here, we are not be able to play cricket outdoors these days and it might be difficult or even impossible for your teammate to fart on you. So you all take care and beware of non cricket-related toxic farts.
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